CHANGELING
About this time last year I weighed 334lbs. I felt like crap and actually thought I was dying. Like most decisions I make in life, I decided to go to my brothers’ gym. My brothers are competitive Powerlifters. At the time their trainer just opened a gym. I can honestly say it is the best decision I have made to date.
As of last Friday I am down to 262. My goal is to get out of the 200s. That’s a lot of weight to lose. I will decide on a definite number when I get under 200. Right now I’m just taking it a week at a time. The formula is simple: eat right and exercise. I have one cheat meal a week and only after a successful weigh-in. At first, my trainer had to push me. The phrase “I can’t” was in heavy rotation at that time. Now I push myself. My trainer throws in exercises and pushes me when I need a push.
It has been a long hard road. I have had weeks where my weight would not budge. Some weeks I cheated. Some weeks, I didn’t. I have even had some weeks when my weight goes up. I know these setbacks are a given. But they can be disheartening. I honestly don’t look forward to waiting another year to get under 200lbs. But this time last year, I didn’t look forward to losing weight the old fashioned way. I wanted a quick fix. But as it typical with my life, there are no quick fixes or easy outs. I could have been the same weight or weighed more if I did nothing. I could have be suffering from weight related deseases or I could be dead. Instead, I fought the urge to constantly give up. I was my own worse enemy. Full of fear and resigned to my box.
I have been “figuring out” a lot of things lately. And the most honest and painful truth I have discovered is this: you don’t get to 334lb without giving up on yourself over and over again. I still fight the fear of gaining the weight back. After all, I have lost and gained before.
I have never lost this much weight before. And I have never kept the weight off this long. I have never been this insightful. I’m done giving up and giving in. I still feel fear, I just don’t give in to it. I am not the same person I used to be. I keep changing, I’m an evolver.
P.S. I know I should add some pictures. Oddly enough, I haven’t taken many pictures lately. But I will get busy.
WOW! You’ve lost 72 pounds?! That’s amazing! I’m personally trying to lose about 60 pounds right now as well… I’m 5’3 and 200 pounds right now, and I have constant back troubles due to my weight… It’s just SOO HARD for me! I have an eating problem and to top it off I have an underactive thyroid… I am working hard though… so let’s see what happens :|
